Scion
I rented a Scion Zipcar last week. I think the Scion can be compared to the houses currently being mass-produced in subdivisions all across the US.
Consider the following for both:
- flashy exterior
- terrible performance & poor long term sustainability
- lots of interior options included to mask a fundamental lack of quality
Also, when I eventually buy a car it's not going to sound like the Nintendo RC Pro-Am go karts.
posted by Jon @ 5:27 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Finally, Jo(h)n writes something that makes a modicum of sense. Inbetwixt his semicoherent rantings on the evils of all things related to progress, the Republican party, America, and apple pie (that is to say, all things right with this world), he finally stumbles across a concept which he seems to grasp.
The Scion is, indeed and in truth, the most worthless piece of shit to grace Amercan roads since Le Car. Its shittyosity is monumental, its shittyousness is unparalleled. It is, in a word, shit.
I was once forced to negotiate the streets of Rochester in one of these shit burgers, as it was a loaner from my car dealer. I was first given a Scion B, the one that looks like the Sweet Pickles Bus. I felt exponentially more embarrassed driving that than being seen in public with Jo(h)n Ford, to give you some idea. In additon, the cigarette smell inside was unbearable. If the mere sight of the vehicle was not enough to make me vomit all over myself, the smell was. So, I brought it back to get a different loan.
I hoped upon hope for something relatively cool as compared to the Scion B. A Neon. An Omni. Perhaps a Chevette. Well, I got the car nary one step up on the Doofus scale from the Scion B: The Scion A.
Then, as if I hadn't suffered enough, one day I had this monstrosity parked in my driveway. (Yes, in front of my home, where I live! The horror!) I see my mailman driving down my street, and I head out to my mailbox to meet him. Here's how our conversation went:
Me: Hello, Mailman.
Mailman: So, you went with the Scion!
Me: Yeah, right! This piece of shit? I'm being forced to drive it as a loaner. It's a fucking embarassment. I think I'd rather be dead than actually own this shit-scicle.
(long pause)
Mailman: I just bought one.
After about a week later, I never saw that mailman again. I swear, I think he changed routes because of my and that shitwagon Scion.
So, here's to you, Ford! You finnally got one right! I'll pretty much just chalk this up to the broken clock theory, but nice job nonetheless.
The Lum
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